Somewhere that I would be forced to reinvent myself amongst strangers, and explore the nature of my true self, unencumbered by the dictates of my past.
People thought I was crazy.
“Have you ever been to Darwin?” they asked.
“No,” I replied.
“What if you don’t like it?” they continued.
“I don’t know, I’ll go to Queensland.”
The paralyzing effect of the fear that I confronted, in their inability to imagine such an expansive opportunity, was the very core of the fear I was seeking to transform in myself.
Having spent 30 years in Perth, my life was no longer exciting, no longer new or challenging. I had been in a pattern for so long that the familiar environment was no longer calling for me to be all that I could be.
Life, with its ever-present optimism, offered me an avenue and a pathway to be more, to have more, and to do more. But first, I was going to have to leave, and leaving meant letting go of all that had become comfortable, predictable, and known.
With my role as a mother transitioning to guide, I was no longer responsible for another human being. For the first time in the longest time, I was free to be me. I could come and go as I pleased.
Leave a little faster, stay a little longer, and move with the flow, like the wind on the leaves. My role as a mother had been forged by a determination to be all I could be, so that my girl would go further faster. I had completed my mission and looked to the next.
What would the compass for my true north be now? After years of giving so earnestly to one human being, I knew it was time to take all that I had learned and expand my reach. Allowing my imagination to wander and my intuition to speak, the message of my next adventure was revealed to me.
Ever curious, I caught the thread of a possibility—to be unrecognizable. I followed the thread.
What would it look like if the next 40 years of my life were unrecognizable from the past 40 years? Who could I be? What could I do?
My imagination caught fire as the image and energy of the phoenix filled my veins. The tingle of excitement and opportunity lit up my senses.
YES!
Yes, this is what this trip would be. An experiment to find out who this Jenny Moutou truly is and to find out what she’s truly capable of. With the mission set, the car packed, the unknown ahead of me, and the predictable behind me, I set out on the road to see what Jenny Moutou would do.
I’ll admit, being a single woman traveling alone was not without some trepidation or fear. I had even bought a knife before leaving Perth, as the thought of being in a tent with no security sent my imagination on a rant. But these were unusual times. With the world in the midst of COVID, there were many people on the road.
By the time I got to Broome, I had settled into the travel. I loved the road. I loved being free to experience the heat, to see the change in flora and fauna from one hour to the next.
The eagles coming into view along the path. The termite nests and bush turkeys making themselves known. All new and breathtaking in their own way. And with the change of the physical world, something was shifting in me too, but it wasn’t until Broome that the full effect would make itself known.
A friend had urged me to go meet his family. It seemed weird to me at first, dropping in on strangers because my friend was related to them. But I trusted his encouragement and went to say hello.
They took me fishing and shared with me their land. We went out in the dinghy and dropped a line in the sea. Surrounded by the ocean, I felt my heart begin to heal.
One afternoon turned into three weeks in Broome. Spending time with the family and learning to see, in the way people who live off the land live and breathe. It wasn’t about “How big is your house?” or “What car do you drive?”
It was all about connection and the interconnectedness of “we.”
Together we would build a fire, together we would enjoy the food, together we would yarn and listen to the tunes. There was no “you” and “I.” There was “together” and “we.”
And my soul instantly knew this was how we were meant to be. I had never spent time with strangers and felt so completely welcomed, with a sense that I belonged. Their generosity and unconditional energy was something completely new.
When it came time for me to leave, my heart was full of love, my soul renewed. Whoever this Jenny Moutou was, she had a better chance than ever of becoming something new.
Jenny Moutou is a highly respected coach, author and speaker, who has walked the road less travelled.
Website: sheleadership.com.au
jenny@sheleadership.com.au
0403 336 741
